ah. im back again. i just feel the need to blog. so many things have been running through my mind and now, i dont even know where to start. oh well.
i got my pw results back. somehow, i cant express how i feel about it. i had to keep up with a strong front while my other group members were sobbing away. i feel so fucked. that one paper that i could have done well in. we could have, if we had put our hearts and soul into it. but i guess it’s too late for could haves. i also felt this bouncing effect. well, not literally. but i feel the need to do well. extremely well perhaps. and again, it all depends on me. my hunger. right now, this moment, im fuckin hungry. if others can do it, why cant i? why waste this opportunity to do well? and i guess im actually quite ready to sacrifice it all. whatever it takes, they may say. my journey back home was basically full of reflections. where i went wrong.
people may think that im strong on the outside but they have zero idea on how i feel on the inside. i may appear fine but i actually am not. it’s kinda like a test for my friends too if they can tell whether im really okay. cuz only then, i call them my true friends. if they keep going without even bothering bout how i feel then i’d raise my white flag. so i guess. people havta know me to know me. and thats the biggest challenge but thats really who i am.
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