down, down, down…..

November 30, 2008 skankyseeeenah

i stayed home for two consecutive days and the two days were the worst two days ive had for this month! i dont know why every little thing seems to get on my fuckin nerves. i just wanna scream and maybe die. maybe. i spent my two days watching a sappy japanese movie which lasted for more than 11 hours. and yea. i cried my lungs out. now my eyes are swollen and ugly. i realised i cried, probably cuz of the show. but also it was just releasing all that i had inside me. ive to admit, ive been bottling up the many things that happened over the past weeks. just that, i didnt have the chance to tell anyone about it. maybe i did, but i just didnt feel like telling. i wouldnt wanna be a burden. thats what he always says. im hurting inside and ive no idea why. no one did anything, thats for sure. i just feel empty i guess. and i feel like ive been neglected by many. friends esp. i guess theyre just too busy with their lives. i learnt that i shouldnt be dependent on them but… but.. i need them ): my mom’s always nagging all the fuckin time that sometimes i hope she loses her voice. yea to that extent cuz i cant take it. ugh. my dad’s not speaking to me. how great. not that it makes a fuckin difference.

im just empty. so fuckin empty.

hear me….

cuz im damaged.