September 17, 2008 skankyseeeenah

i just feel like blogging. ive been having some mixed feelings lately. i felt pretty weird today. i feel like im easily irritable nowadays. okay, when am i not, you may ask. but it’s different. cuz every little thing that a person does annoys the hell out of me. sadly, it’s happening with my close friends too. i feel bad, to think that my loved ones are annoying lil bitches. haha. ooops? it aint my fault. the hormones are coming. real real soon. but anyway so much has happened over the last few weeks.

1. i did something, ok well more than one thing, that was out of the norm. ive never done it. but technically, i didnt do it. it happened. i couldnt stop it. i felt so damn helpless. i didnt wanna continue. i tried to stop. but… but… i wasnt in control. it felt like a dream. it felt like a fantasy. something i never thought could happen. esp the place where it happened. i swear you’d laugh in shock if you knew. yea, if only you knew. but you dont so too bad. heh. but just for the record, im still a virgin. may God bless me!

2. prelims finally ended three weeks back. it past so fast. results arent fantastic. but i improved which is a good sign. if i work hard, i’d definitely be able to make it. but how well i do it depends solely on how hard i work. im already feeling the stressed when i heard about the awesomastic bombastic results my cousin from tpjc got. almost straight As. it kinda dampened my spirit. the whole comparing of results once it’s released is gonna happen. im just hoping history wont repeat. everytime i think about it, it spurs me on to work even harder. but i hate the competition esp when it’s between cousins. dont even mention about competition amongst my peers. im feeling it already. but im going with my own pace, if i suddenly decide to sprint, then we’ll see. haha this whole studying period will bring me to my next point.

3. i was feeling down in school just now. i didnt talk much in the morning. the blues is really getting into me. i was just thinking about my birthday. my bday last year was well spent with my loved ones. excluding my family and my close friends in jc. it was the best so far. but this year, im gonna have the most depressing and dull one. i have all the rights in this fuckin world to complain. my bday is gone this year. but if it is worth sacrificing, i wont sulk, promise! if it means good results. and hey, i’d celebrate after As right? right? man, i have no idea what my parents have in store for me next year. only God knows. then again, my parents make wise decisions for me. so all’s good.

im gonna do some studying now even though im dead tired. see y’all.

Success is the ability to go from failure to failure without losing your enthusiasm.

- WInston Churchill

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