it’s raining, raining.

i thought my week was gonna be perfect. i thought everything was gonna be okay. i thought i was gonna be strong enough to go through this phase. but im wrong. im so wrong. there are just some things that i havent been telling my close friends. prolly cuz i dont see the reason to. prolly cuz i thought (again) i could go through it alone. but i cant. though im trying. im trying real hard to let go of everything that i need to. maybe im succeeding. i dont know. only time will tell, i guess. speaking of which, i havent been using my time wisely. prelims in 3 weeks. ive got nothing prepared. i dont feel prepared. i need someone to shake me and start telling me, “this is it, either you make it or not dammit!” right so anyway. i just realised my need for someone. i just feel that it is now that i wanna be with someone. get serious, get emotionally attached, get naughty. heh. one reason why im feeling this way may be cuz my close friends are involved/getting involved in some big bgr. and im just somewhere. nowhere near, not so far away either. and i feel that sometimes they dont share much stuff with me or even come to me for advice only cuz im not going through it. ive been through shit. thats all i can say. and do i get anythg out of the shit? not a single piece of gold. my heart sinks everytime i see a happy couple. oh wait! it doesnt sink as much when i see a lil cute baby with his mommy. i’d wanna feel that way too. the kinda feeling you get when you have your baby so near you and all you wanna do is keep it close to you and never let go. ahhhhh, give me a damn baby! i’d trade anythg for it! heh. ok. this is what you get when you add emotional night & first day of period & bad and tiring day & annoying mom who wouldnt leave you alone! fuck this shit.

im gone.

Add a comment July 26, 2008